I love the way she moves.
She sits lightly in the water, always in motion, dancing in harmony with the energy around her. She never struggles she never pushes back. She simply moves. I am talking about our 32 foot Fuji Ketch of course. Our home. We just spent a few days on her, and I am falling in love all over again. We spend a great deal of time every day making plans to spend more time on her this summer. We live a magical life where we drive truck over the road all winter, and take summers off in the beautiful Pacific Northwest on our boat; “Wings of the Morning”.
Sherlene and I talk a lot about how we got here, and even more time thinking about where we might go next. Not in a physical sense. We are happy bouncing around the Puget Sound in the grip of the wind and waves for now. I am talking about where we go as people, as a couple. How do we interact with our world? What is important to us? How do we continue to grow in our beliefs and understandings? How do we learn to dance?
Maybe I should start from the beginning.
Sherlene and I were born into good families that continue to love us today. Both of those families were part of a group that had a particular belief perspective about why we are here, how to conduct our lives, and more importantly how the world works spiritually. It involved a pretty cut and dried plan. Do this, believe that, and someday you will go there. Our families were comfortable but not rich. Our fathers both retired from large companies with pensions. It was all good really, with very little room for questions, wonder or pain and confusion.
But it turns out the world doesn’t operate in a milieu of comfort without pain and confusion. The world of our fathers is gone, and it’s not coming back. We can be angry about it, or we can simply move with the tides like our boat.
Sherlene and I slipped the old moorings that held us early in our relationship. We had both been through struggles in previous marriages, financially, and spiritually. We didn’t know it at the time, but seeds had been planted long before that were beginning to grow, first spiritually, then financially, then in relation to the world around us.
The growth was not without pain and confusion and some of that continues still. Some people chose not to come along, we got rid of truckloads of baggage that had held us back for years, weighing us down and making us sluggish. We explored in directions that were frightening in the beginning, hard to understand and almost impossible to explain.
But we didn’t have to. We simply responded to the winds we found ourselves in, allowed the currents to take us to deeper waters, and we have found some amazing relationships, financial stability, and a deepening sense of spirituality that makes us much more awake to possibilities.
A few people have noticed; several couples we are watching as they begin their journeys, and it is so fun to see the light in their eyes and hear wonder in their voices as they dispose of what ever it is that holds them back and launch out on adventures of their own. Others still hesitate afraid to take backward steps so they can begin to move forward.
After years of change ourselves, we see a common thread. What we see is struggle all around us. Everyone struggles. If we are alive, we all reach points in our lives where it becomes apparent that things are not working the way we thought they would or should and we fight the current trying to stay in the place that was comfortable up until everything changed. We keep that house with all the memories long after it ceases to be a blessing. We keep the car, the clothes, the job that is killing us because we don’t understand that sometimes we have to back up to go forward. Sometimes victory looks like defeat until we get back to the things that are truly important, and we lighten our load, slip the lines that held us and our lives become lighter, less encumbered, more alive.
Sherlene and I are on the cusp of another great journey, this time deeper into the Spirit. It will involve more lightning, more enlightening, and more pain and struggle as we cast away old ideas and try new ones. We know the advantage that comes from growing, but that doesn’t make it any easier. There still comes that moment when against all good sense and sanity, we cut the lines and move with the current. We can’t see the end, but we take our good ship as an example and move without pushing back, dancing to the world around us.